We all want something in life. We have goals and aspirations. We have hopes and wishes. But those things don’t always come to pass. And as time goes by, we’re often left wondering when, if ever, we’ll fulfill our dreams, and how we’ll ever end up attracting all the things into our lives we’ve ever set our sights on.
Whether you’re looking for the perfect job, the ideal relationship, the right car, or even the best place to live, attracting the right things into your life can seem like a daunting task. But if you believe wholeheartedly in that invisible ether that binds us all, you likely know the importance of the Law of Attraction.
While some people scoff at this pseudo-phenomenon, the science of attraction is real and it’s exact. It can help revolutionize a person’s life, leading them from tears and tatters, into elation and joy. It can literally transform and flip our ability to succeed on its head, moving things from the abstract into reality.
The truth, whether some believe it or not, is that you get whatever it is that you focus on in life. You reap what you sow and cultivate what you grow. When our minds are steeped in negativity, we tend to see things from a negative light. But when we’re positive and look to the silver lining, so to speak, we ultimately produce positive results.
The hard part? Moving away from negative emotions is hard. But that’s also the only way we can attract the right things into our lives. Like attracts like. Our vibrational energy and our auras play a big role in helping to produce the outcomes that we’re after.
So how does this work really?
The Power of the Mind
We’ve all heard it before — the mind is all-powerful. It can help us get what we want, and it can also help to deter us from our dreams. There’s a constant struggle that’s happening within us all at this very moment. That struggle involves the inner-workings of the three-part psychic apparatus.
What is it and why does it matter?
The human mind is the most powerful computer in the world. Every single day, it processes upwards of 60,000 thoughts, and it autonomously controls millions of separate functions that are happening in the body at any given moment. While its tasked with a lot to do, it also knows how to prioritize and categorize what you really want.
It has a funny way of either playing out our fears, or making our wildest dreams come true. And the psychic apparatus — coined by the late father of modern psychology, Sigmund Freud — is in the driver’s seat.
In effect, there are 3 parts that are at play here:
- The Id — The id is the most basal and instinctive part of the mind. It’s where our selfish survival comes from. It’s what creates the pre-programmed urges to eat and sleep, while also acting as the source of sexual drive. When a person lives life and makes decisions primarily based on the id, they tend to do what they want, when they want, and without fear of repercussions — acts, as we all know, that can lead to a great deal of pain.
- The Superego — The superego is what helps to keep us in check. It helps to counterbalance the id. It’s the morals and scruples that are developed through society, community, religion, and upbringing. It’s the angel on our shoulders, while the id can oftentimes be likened to the devil on the other side. When the superego is strong, it tends to keep us out of trouble, make us more patient, and even more empathetic to the world around us.
- The Ego — The ego is the referee. It helps us get what we want in life within the confines of reality. It knows that we can’t just have what we want all the time. So it tries to fulfill those underlying desires with whatever tools we have access to today, such as money, relationships, time, and any other resources.
The resultant interaction of the three parts in our mind helps to determine the outcome of our behaviors, and the resultant quality and direction of our lives. It takes our input and produces an output that tries to satisfy each of the separate parts of the mind. This, as you might guess, has an enormous impact on the types of things we attract into our lives.
The problem? Much of this interaction occurs in the subconscious realm of the mind, not in the conscious one. It’s similar to warring factions that are battling it out in favor of one thing or another. The difficulty? We aren’t privy to much of this war taking place within the subconscious mind. The fighting factions are doing so largely on their own, battle after battle.
Sometimes, when you feel heavily conflicted about something, unable to make a decision, or torn between different choices, it’s because of the three-part psychic apparatus each trying to get what it wants. The id wants what it wants, and so do the other parts. For a person on a diet, for example, the id beckons us for that piece of chocolate cake or a hamburger and french fries, while the superego tries to reason for us to eat sensibly.
Then you have the ego, in the middle of the two, but it also wants to give you what you want. It looks for fast and easy ways to lose weight because it knows that, within reality, it has to find us ways to get what we want. That’s why fad diets and other weight-loss crazes become so popular. The ego reasons that it’s the best method for helping satisfy both the id and the superego.
Similarly, for the person trying to get rich quick or make any other decision such as get out of heavy indebtedness, the same infighting occurs. Or, a person struggling to decide whether to stay in a relationship and do what’s best for the kids, or leave, cheat, get divorced, or do any number of different things. It all boils down to the upshot of the battles being waged in the mind.
But, when we can step back and look at things in perspective and analyze our emotions and resultant behaviors, we can begin to understand where our life’s choices are coming from. This conscious awareness of the process can help us part of the way, but it won’t do it all for us. The importance of this discussion is to understand the complexities that are occurring which are attracting the things into our lives that we tend to be producing on an ongoing basis.
#1 — Direction is the result of pure focus
One very powerful way to attract the things you want in life is to direct your focus. Achieving any goal, big or small, is purely a matter of focus. We get whatever it is that we focus on. Focus on a positive result, and in time, you’ll reap what you sow. Focus on negativity, and, well, you’ll just end up steering into the wall, so to speak.
When professional race car drivers are first taught to drive, they’re taught to point their heads where they want their cars to go. If, for example, the car is spinning out of control, as long as they point their heads towards the road, they’ll be okay. But, once they start focusing on the wall, that’s precisely where they’re going to end up.
Why is that? Because direction is the result of pure focus. If you focus on a particular outcome in your life, that’s what’s going to eventually materialize. If you focus on your goals and how good it will feel to be living your dreams, and you envision that deeply enough, eventually, you’ll get there. It just won’t happen overnight.
So, if you want to attract the right things into your life, direct your focus. Learn what to focus your mind’s eye on. If you concentrate on negativity, you’ll beget more of it. If you live in a state of fear, worry, anxiety, and stress, you’ll simply manifest those things. The subconscious mind will steer you towards whatever it is that you focus on over time; the all-powerful id will help to manifest the abstract into reality.
Now, in order to control your focus, you have a monumental task ahead of you. Since much of our thought patterns are habitual, in that we live in the same states of mind throughout our lives, changing the way we think can seem like a monumental hurdle. But it’s not impossible. Focus purely on the things that you want, not the things that you’re deathly afraid of.
For example, if you want to start your own business, get a promotion, buy a new house, or travel to your dream destination, you have to focus on, and even plan for, those things. The moment you start worrying about your deepest, darkest fears, that’s the moment things begin going downhill. Thoughts build momentum over time, so be very careful of the things you tell yourself and think about.
#2 — Release all your negative energy
It’s hard to attract the right things into your life when you’re so consumed by negative energy. The vibrational frequency of our energy will pull the equivalent towards us. Like attracts like. So if you’re constantly living in a state of negativity, you’ll end up attracting more of that into your life. It’s a delicate balance and it needs to be kept in check if you’re going to achieve your dreams.
Negative energy gets in the way of attracting the things you want into your life. Think back to the conversation on the mind and the psychic apparatus. Think about how the three parts interact without much conscious knowledge on your behalf. Negativity grows and festers in the mind, expanding and latching on to empirical feedback and experiences.
The more we think negatively, the more we’re able to find reasons why negative things might and will occur. And if we don’t release that negative energy, it can all but destroy our progress. Take back your thought patterns and reign in your psychic apparatus. When you have a negative thought, jot it down and release it. Make fun of it, in fact. State all the reasons why it isn’t true.
No matter what we think about or focus on, we’ll get more of that in life. So if you want to attract the right things, release the negative energy by taking it from the subconscious realm to the conscious realm. How? Easy. When you have a negative thought, your body experiences emotions associated with it. Fear, anxiety, nervousness, stress, and anger are some examples of those those transmuted into reality.
When your body is responding physically to a thought, that’s your first clue of what’s going on. Stop and think about that thought. Write it down. Then, make fun of it. Literally, poke fun at it. Why is it a silly thought? Write down all the reasons why it won’t come to pass. Jot down all the experiences in the past where you’ve pulled through when the time called for it. Release all of that negative energy continuously.
#3 — Never let failure hold you back
Failure is tough. It does a number on us. When we fail, and we’re going through that pain, the last thing we can think about is attracting good things into our lives because we’re so focused on all the bad things surrounding us. But failure should never hold us back. Ever. Failure is just a stepping stone, a fork in the road if you will.
When you look at failure in this way, and you learn to work around it, surmounting those obstacles along the way, you ultimately attract all the things that you want. But, when you allow failure to deaden your spirit, which is something it’s very capable of doing, then you become your own worst enemy. We can only actually truly fail in the long term if we give up.
When we don’t give up, and we keep pushing, that’s when the magic starts to happen in life. That’s when everything around us begins bending to our will, without even knowing it. We attract things little by little over time because that’s just the way it works. We create momentum and build upon small wins. Eventually, it all comes to a head when we achieve the lofty goals we set over time.
But nothing in life that’s worthwhile ever happens overnight. It will take time. So don’t allow failure to derail your progress. If anything, allow it to make you dig deeper, push harder, and dream even bigger. Never let it hold you back. When it does, we end up living a life steeped in complacency rather than one replete with enthusiastic growth and boundary-testing wins.
#4 — Look for ways that you can add value
One of the best ways that you can attract the things that you want into your life is to always look for opportunities to add value to the world. When we focus on adding value, in that we’re more interested in long-term growth, relationships, and opportunities, we move away from the short-term needs that tend to cause conflict — we move away from the deep and sudden urges of the id.
For example, in relationships, you can add a tremendous amount of value by helping others without the need for something in return. In personal relationships such as with spouses or partners, adding value also comes with not trying to deceive the significant other with short-term needs and desires that might run contrary to the promises of a relationship.
In business, when we go out of our way for our customers or clients, and we don’t look for the short-term dollar or underhanded ways we can make a buck fast, people take notice. It doesn’t happen overnight. But, over time, as long as we have the right foundational principles governing our behavior, we can easily attract all the things we want in life and then some.
Be sure to always dot your i’s and cross your t’s, so to speak. Pay attention to the details and look to add value at every point and turn that you can. It might seem arduous at first, but in time, this will pay off far more than trying to cut the corners and get the most amount of return for the least amount of effort. In effect, you have to do the exact opposite.
#5 — Plan for tomorrow, but live for today
Whether or not we only live once is a matter up for discussion. But, consciously speaking, we’re only aware of this present life, even if we’ve lived before. The point? Whatever it is that you believe in, live for today but plan for tomorrow. Take calculated risks. Don’t live in fear or steeped in worry and regret. If you’ve made mistakes in the past, forgive yourself, and live your life.
It’s hard to truly live when we’re constantly worrying about our past decisions or feeling sorry for ourselves. Yes, we all make mistakes. It’s okay. No one is perfect. As long as we do our best not to repeat those mistakes, that’s the purpose of this journey we call life. It isn’t to try and live a perfect life where we never mess up. We will mess up over and over again. That’s just how it is.
If you want to attract the right things into your life, you have to live for today. But don’t forget about tomorrow. Don’t spend all of your money thinking that you’ll get a windfall tomorrow. But, you can spend some of your money and also take calculated risks with other money. Don’t live so afraid to do anything that you don’t make any progress at all.
Take a chance. Roll the dice. Go out on that date you’ve been putting off. Research that business you’ve been too afraid to start. Invest. Save. Learn. And plan for tomorrow. But do it today. As you move towards your goals, analyze your progress. And plan some more. Adjust your plans over and over until you can reach your goals.
#6 — Everything comes in time to those who can wait
While this saying has been around for a while, we’re not all the best at living a patient life. Patience is a virtue, but clearly, not many of us have the ability to wait for a seemingly infinite amount of time to see our goals to fruition. We’re an instant-gratification society. We want want we want, and we want it now. We’re very much similar to children in that aspect.
When children are first born, they’re born solely with an id-mind. It’s part of our selfish survival; our genetic predisposition to eat, sleep, defecate and procreate. It’s hardwired into our DNA and part of who we are. As we age, our id-minds mature, breaking off into the ego and superego. Yet, each persons’s develop is unique in-and-of to themselves. No two people are exactly alike.
This might also account for the reason why two people born with nearly-identical circumstances, can have such drastically different experiences and expectations in life, forming different beliefs and ideals, habits and routines. But, the person that can happily succeed rather than succeeding to be happy, is the one who’ll have the most stable state-of-mind as they achieve their goals.
It’s not easy to be patient. But it is necessary in order to attract the things that we want in life. Often, we can’t force things upon ourselves. We can do what it takes by taking action and not giving up, but we can’t guarantee results. We just have to put in the work and do what it takes, and allow the Universe, God, Allah, Buddha, or that oneness that binds us all, to take care of the rest.
#7 — It’s all about the journey, not just the destination
As hard as it is sometimes to appreciate it, goals are about the journey and not about the destination. It’s about who we become along the way. It involves spiritual growth, mental understanding, and increase in emotional capacity to become more kind, sympathetic, empathetic, and even giving. As much as we might want to attract things into our lives right now, sometimes the direct opposite can occur if we’re not careful.
When we don’t appreciate the journey and who we become, it’s easy to lose sight of the beauty of life. It’s far harder to see the forest through the trees when our eyes are blanketed by things by the illusion created by desire, lust, and greed. We have to appreciate the journey towards our goals, and not just the destinations. We have to be grateful for what we have rather than just pining over what we don’t.
Gratitude is at the source of attracting what you want in life. It’s the single most important tool that you can use to move yourself from one point to the next. The grateful person is filled with positivity and love rather than negativity and fear. And while it’s hard to appreciate everything in your life, it’s truly the basis for things like happiness and success.
There’s a famous saying that goes, “Two things define you: Your patience when you have nothing and your attitude when you have everything.” No words that have been spoken are truer than this. If you want to attract good things into your life, you have to enjoy the journey. Be patient and appreciate of the process. When you’re not, failure can feel like the death-knell to your progress, deadening and destroying your spirit.