“You cannot live to please everyone else. You have to edify, educate and fulfill your own dreams and destiny, and hope that whatever your art is that you’re putting out there, if it’s received, great, I respect you for receiving it. If it’s not received, great, I respect you for not.” — Octavia Spencer
While the origin of humanity might stem from a single source, the truth of the matter is that, today, we are all different. We live different lives, have different beliefs, values, relationships, thoughts and emotions. We raise our children differently, think differently and behave differently on a number of levels.
Although common threads might join us, we are all unique in our own little ways. And since we are all unique, with unique points of view and ways of doing things, oftentimes, we consider our own way as the right way of going about things. Because of that, it’s easy to understand why we’re critical of others. That could also be why it’s impossible to please everyone in life.
That might be the reason why people disapprove of our decisions. That might be the reason why, no matter what you do, think or feel, someone will act dismayed or feel disgruntled by the very notion of your choices or your existence even. How could they possibly think that way or say those things or behave in such a manner?
Clearly, you can’t please everyone. It’s downright impossible. From how you speak to your child, to what types of clothes you wear, what you do for work, the decisions you make on where and what to eat, how you drive your car, spend your money, and everything in between, someone is going to disapprove.
Why You Shouldn’t Try To Please Everyone
You absolutely shouldn’t try to please everyone all the time. It’s just not worth it. Not only will you begin to live your life according to someone else’s standards, but you’ll deplete yourself of any sense of happiness or enthusiasm. Do what makes you happy and what pleases you. As long as you’re doing the right things with a good heart, that’s all that really matters.
It’s hard to stay this course when you know that people are talking behind your back, or even in front of your face. People tend to enjoy saying things that hurt others. For one reason or another, it helps to elevate their egos and empower their bold personalities. It’s hard to turn the other cheek while people smite you on both sides. But you simply have to.
There are a number of reasons why it’s impossible to please everyone, and while this information might not completely alleviate your worries, reduce your stress, or eliminate all your fears for pursuing your dreams, it will hopefully allow you to come to the realization that nobody will be completely pleased with your actions all the time.
What’s important is that you do you. Don’t concern yourself with what others think you should do. Don’t allow that to impact the trajectory of your hopes and your dreams. Don’t allow that to diminish your spirit or change your direction of travel when it’s something that you’re deeply passionate about or have always wanted to do in your life.
Never give up on your hopes and your dreams just because you’re trying to make others happy around you. To a certain extent, our family’s happiness is important. So is the happiness of our friends. But not beyond the extent that we start self-sacrificing all that we’ve ever wanted and hoped for in life.
Don’t allow peer pressure to hold you back. Set your goals sky high. You can achieve anything you put your mind to. It doesn’t matter what other people say or think about you. As long as you’re doing what makes you happy, that’s what’s important. As long as, deep down inside, you’re sated, and you’re doing things for the right reasons with the right motivations, you should never feel sorry for it.
And while there might be dozens of reasons why it’s impossible to please everyone, there are 10 that are truly important. They cut down to the core of who we are. They help to highlight the importance of our own hopes and dreams, rather than trying to live some fabricated life just to please the other people that are around us. Never do that. Never.
#1 — Everyone will always have an opinion no matter what
No matter what you do or how hard you try, people will always have an opinion about you. Often, it’s a negative opinion. They look at you with distaste and scorn. You can’t please those people no matter what you do. You can’t avoid them from talking and gossiping about you behind your back or even right in front of your face. And you shouldn’t bother trying either.
Nothing will ever change the thoughts and minds of others that are steeped in negativity. Nothing you ever do can please them. It’s quite literally impossible. So why bother trying? They will have an opinion about how you live your life, because it’s different from some Utopian ideals they have envisioned in their minds.
#2 — Right and wrong can often be subjective
I’m not talking about moral issues here. I’m not talking about murder or robbery or anything else that’s illegal in the eyes of the law. However, all of that aside, right and wrong can be almost entirely subjective. What’s right in one person’s mind, could be wrong in another person’s mind.
Most things are considered subjective. They’re open to interpretation. There isn’t a set way of doing every single thing in life that’s always the right way. Because of that, people will differ in their opinions of just how to approach something. If you’re not doing it their way, how can you expect to please them and everyone else for that matter?
#3 — We are all the unique product of our own experiences
No two people are exactly alike. Physically speaking, two twins might be completely identical, but their personalities are shaped differently. They are unique in their own special little ways. If two identical twins can be so different, how do you expect other people who are from different cultures and upbringings to be so similar?
Since we are all the unique product of our own experiences, and we all share different values and beliefs, we behave differently. Even someone you might think you know quite well might have a hidden value or belief that reveals itself when you do something that disobeys or runs in contrast to their particular thoughts.
#4 — People will always talk no matter what what you decide to do
The nature of humanity is to talk. We talk about others in an attempt to feel better about ourselves. Gossip is quite possibly one of the worst ways to pass the time. There’s no sense in gossiping. If you’re partaking in gossiping on a regular basis, then you’re filling your life with negativity rather than positivity. It’s harder to push past the status quo when you live in the negative realm.
Considering that people will always talk, there’s not much you can do to please those people. They will always find something about you to talk about. That’s just the nature of groups and clicks. They’re almost cult-like in their nature. They feed off of negativity and seeing others hurt. But you simply have to ignore it. Develop thick skin and turn the other cheek.
#5 — Outcasts and scapegoats are a common theme throughout history
People have always shunned others, outcasting them amongst society to prove that they’re better than these people. This is also something that tends to happen when famous people fail or hit rock bottom, get arrested or any other number of things. Throughout history, we like to see those at the top come crashing down.
For some reason, this invigorates the human spirit. We revel in the failure of others. It’s an unfortunate truth. We also use scapegoats to help reason away certain things. With all this in mind, it’s clear that it’s impossible to please these people. It’s impossible to ever appease all of them at the same time. So you shouldn’t try.
#6 — People are usually frightened by things they don’t understand
Whatever you want out of life, whatever dreams or desires you might have, not everyone around you is going to understand them. In fact, some are likely to be frightened by them. When one person in a group begins to succeed while the others remain within the status quo, there’s a certain amount of tension that’s created.
People are usually frightened by what they don’t understand. Since your journey is unique, you can’t expect everyone to understand it. And you also can’t expect that every action you take or decision you make to please everyone. It simply won’t happen. But don’t let it dissuade you from confidently marching towards your goals.
#7 — If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough
We’re often afraid of not pleasing everyone around us when we have big hopes and dreams for the future. We worry about what others might think. We worry about how others might judge us and feel about us. How will the people closest to us react? What will they say when we expose our innermost desires to them?
The truth is that if your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough. It shouldn’t matter what other people will say or think as long as it’s something you’re passionate about. You shouldn’t try to please every single person because it will literally be impossible to do it. But don’t compromise your dreams for others. Get out there and pursue them with all your heart.
#8 — When you try to please everyone, you end up attracting negativity
The Law of Attraction is powerful. We don’t realize that we attract whatever is in our minds. Like begets like. That’s also why we tend to move towards our greatest fears. We have a tendency for attracting those things into our lives that are at the forefronts of our minds. And when you try to please everyone, you simply end up attracting more negativity.
You can’t please them all. So be careful with where your mind is at. Be careful on the things that you’re thinking or saying on a daily basis. Since 45% of our behavior is habit driven, it’s difficult to always notice the habits that are holding us back.
#9 — You begin to sacrifice who you really are deep down inside
When you try to please everyone, you end up sacrificing who you really are deep down inside. You end up going against the grain of the things that you’ve always wanted in life. When you do that, you suffer over the long term, having regrets and replaying those what-ifs and should-haves in your mind over and over again.
Don’t allow other peoples’ opinions of you to stop you from doing what you really love. You can’t please them all. If you really want to pursue something, even if you’ve failed a number of times and even if people have spoken negatively about you in the past, do it. Do it for you. Don’t do it for them. Do it because it’s what you really want out of life.
#10 — You will lose a sense of your identity by trying to please others
When we try to please others all the time, we lose ourselves. We lose our identities. The things that we used to hold near and dear are all but forgotten. We live a life of conformity, trying to adapt to the will of others who pressure us into doing things that please them rather than that please us.
You should pursue your dreams no matter what. If you don’t want to risk losing any semblance of your own identity, don’t give up hope. There is light at the other end of the tunnel. Don’t put all your dreams on hold just because you’re trying to please all the other people around you.